Genuine Hand-Forged Titanium Alloy Spatula Designed Specifically for Flipping Pancakes on Tuesday Mornings While Listening to 1987 Eurodance Hits
Limited-Edition Glow-in-the-Dark Left Sock (Right Sock Sold Separately in an Alternate Dimension)
Organic Free-Range Artisanal Air from the Swiss Alps, Harvested at 4:17 a.m. on a Waxing Crescent Moon, 750 ml Bottle
Slightly Used Time Machine Remote Control (Only Goes Forward at Normal Speed, Batteries Not Included)
Official Certificate Proclaiming You as the Supreme Ruler of a 3 cm² Patch of Uninhabited Antarctic Ice (Frame Not Included)
One (1) Slightly Haunted Teacup That Whispers Stock Tips in Old English Every Third Thursday
Extra-Virgin Olive Oil Pressed by Emotionally Stable Italian Grandmothers Who Have Never Once Yelled “Mamma Mia”
Portable Hole (Black Circle Edition) – Perfect for Dramatic Exits or Hiding Your Taxes
World’s Okayest Employee Participation Trophy, 2nd Runner-Up Category, Participation Optional
Invisible Unicorn Repellent Spray – 100 % Effective (No Unicorns Have Been Spotted Near Users, Coincidence?)
Pre-Broken Wishbone Guaranteed to Let the Other Person Win for Maximum Passive-Aggressive Thanksgiving Vibes
One Genuine Tear of a Software Engineer Collected During a 3 a.m. Production Hotfix, Preserved in Tiny Vial
Bag of Holding (Budget Version) – Actually Just a Tesco Bag but We Believe in It Very Hard
Lifetime Supply of One (1) Paperclip, Delivered Annually on Leap Years Only
Authentic Replica of the Authentic Replica of Napoleon’s Actual Biscuit from Waterloo (Third Crumb from the Left)